When I'm with you, I feel as though nothing is wrong. I feel like the whole world doesn't matter anymore. But when you're not with me, I'm afraid you'll leave.
You're my best friend. You're my girlfriend. You're my everything.
There are the Others. I've done my best at not getting worried when you're around them, but sometimes it's too much. I wonder sometimes if you feel the same way about me as I do you. Even though you say you do, I still wonder.
It's hard not to.
I want to be with you. You want to be with me. That's all that matters. But I'm afraid you'll get bored with me and move to the next. I will always be there for you. All I do I will do for you.
That night on the mountain, what we talked about. You were cold and wore my coat. We sat and looked out. When we got heckled by those drunk mariachi-blaring clowns. That night, I saw us for the first time. I saw us together for real. That was the night I saw the rest of my life.
You say we're alike. We ARE alike, in more ways than music and movies. Our personalities are close. I see how I am. You see how you are.
Everything happens for a reason. We talked about that, too. You're here, with me, for a reason. I love you more than anyone else. Looking back at my Others, at the fun times when I thought we were in love, I realize it was nothing like this. I care more, I'm patient, I am serious when it's necessary (and sometimes when it's not). I was never like that before. It's because of you.
I love you.
[That is all]
Friday, November 7, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
She is...
She is everything to me.
She makes me happy, but she can also make me sad. She is beautiful and fun. She has everything I've wanted in someone and she is mine.
Sometimes I wonder if she'll leave. That scares me most of all. I'm afraid she'll find someone better than me, even though she says that I'm amazing. She tells me that nobody else has ever made her feel as good as I make her feel.
She tells me she loves me and I love her the same. Maybe more.
She has no idea the joy she makes me feel when I'm with her. Sleeping in my bed, she is awakened every morning with a kiss. My hands, she says, are magnificent. She loves listening to me talk about anything. She loves my favourite songs. She loves my choices in movies. She likes to spend time with me. All the time.
She is everything to me.
She makes me happy, but she can also make me sad. She is beautiful and fun. She has everything I've wanted in someone and she is mine.
Sometimes I wonder if she'll leave. That scares me most of all. I'm afraid she'll find someone better than me, even though she says that I'm amazing. She tells me that nobody else has ever made her feel as good as I make her feel.
She tells me she loves me and I love her the same. Maybe more.
She has no idea the joy she makes me feel when I'm with her. Sleeping in my bed, she is awakened every morning with a kiss. My hands, she says, are magnificent. She loves listening to me talk about anything. She loves my favourite songs. She loves my choices in movies. She likes to spend time with me. All the time.
She is everything to me.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
REMEMBER EARLIER THIS YEAR...?
BACK WHEN I was fired from Borders, I got a new job at the Hilton as a night accountant.
Let's just say that it didn't work out after all this time.
They tried to fire me, I raised concerns, they wouldn't have any of it. So I quit.
I really wish I wasn't such a nice person all the time. The thoughts running through my head like a stock ticker were telling me to verbally bash their non-educated asses by way of intellect and grammar (especially since they wouldn't understand). I kept my mouth shut until the training issue was raised. They, like all employers, told me that everyone goes through the same training.
If that's true, then why was I told to figure it out on my own on multiple occasions by the front desk supervisor?
Taking someone's word is enough to get you canned, apparently. Even if that employee does his job everyday and NEVER misses work. EVER. Unlike the two horrible hog-like cretins that work night audit who are NEVER at work, forcing Jeff and me to cover for them. CONSTANTLY.
And what do I have to show for the sudden burst of work ethic I displayed? I was nearly fired.
The world is a horrible place, but all things come around in the end. Like a comet pulled towards the sun, it waits until the correct moment to end it all, smashing into a sphere of dust and hydrogen.
...revoir.
Let's just say that it didn't work out after all this time.
They tried to fire me, I raised concerns, they wouldn't have any of it. So I quit.
I really wish I wasn't such a nice person all the time. The thoughts running through my head like a stock ticker were telling me to verbally bash their non-educated asses by way of intellect and grammar (especially since they wouldn't understand). I kept my mouth shut until the training issue was raised. They, like all employers, told me that everyone goes through the same training.
If that's true, then why was I told to figure it out on my own on multiple occasions by the front desk supervisor?
Taking someone's word is enough to get you canned, apparently. Even if that employee does his job everyday and NEVER misses work. EVER. Unlike the two horrible hog-like cretins that work night audit who are NEVER at work, forcing Jeff and me to cover for them. CONSTANTLY.
And what do I have to show for the sudden burst of work ethic I displayed? I was nearly fired.
The world is a horrible place, but all things come around in the end. Like a comet pulled towards the sun, it waits until the correct moment to end it all, smashing into a sphere of dust and hydrogen.
...revoir.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
DL-220
If you don't know what I've been up to, I've been writing (instead of blogging about my life) a satirical news column on my other blog: Aude Sapere Mortem
Check it out if you haven't already. I assure you, it's worth it (from what I've been told).
As for my life...
Not so much has changed since I last wrote. I've been doing the same old filing cabinet things in my old filing cabinet life. Very drab. Very drab indeed, I know.
That is basically the all and most of it and I will not bore you with talk of business suits and of mahogany desk sets or even of my precise knowledge of accounting. Talk of this will come later.
Do widzenia,
That is all.
Check it out if you haven't already. I assure you, it's worth it (from what I've been told).
As for my life...
Not so much has changed since I last wrote. I've been doing the same old filing cabinet things in my old filing cabinet life. Very drab. Very drab indeed, I know.
That is basically the all and most of it and I will not bore you with talk of business suits and of mahogany desk sets or even of my precise knowledge of accounting. Talk of this will come later.
Do widzenia,
That is all.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Pointe
I am completely obsessed with this song. Thanks, Cristina...
I Will Light You On Fire
And I can't just sit here thinking,
"My fleet is sinking,
Make room at the bottom of the sea,"
Or, "Don't upset the wealthy,
It's unhealthy,"
Everyone has a price, Sometimes I have two
And if I lack point or purpose
On the surface
It's only 'cause I was trying to fit in
And some years are uneventful
Inconsequential
And some years I don't show up at all
And I will build a wall to watch it tilting
Knock it over, start rebuilding
Just to keep from wasting time
Salute the march of the newly peaceful
From the mine shaft to the steeple
To the courthouse and back again
Why don't you don't I join the protest
I'm still asleep, you're not impressed
And we'd be better off uninvolved
Oh come on, come on tell me something
Sell me something or I'm jumping
And I cannot live that way for long
And you know this requires discussion
Or preferably, a concussion
Why can't we talk about something good?
So, I'm feeling better about Jenny
I still miss her, and what doesn't help is that I'm staying at Mom's on Friday to watch Zoe (who is now alone). She won't be there and that sucks. I think Cristina will be staying with me (because I'm scared of my mom's house at night when I'm alone [for some reason]).
I washed all my clothes and now feel extraordinarily clean and good about everything. I also bought a new Rugby shirt and I'm going to start up a Rugby Union with a few friends. I'll need a total of 15 to at least play, but it'll be fine.
Everything's boring... There's not much to report.
That is all.
I Will Light You On Fire
And I can't just sit here thinking,
"My fleet is sinking,
Make room at the bottom of the sea,"
Or, "Don't upset the wealthy,
It's unhealthy,"
Everyone has a price, Sometimes I have two
And if I lack point or purpose
On the surface
It's only 'cause I was trying to fit in
And some years are uneventful
Inconsequential
And some years I don't show up at all
And I will build a wall to watch it tilting
Knock it over, start rebuilding
Just to keep from wasting time
Salute the march of the newly peaceful
From the mine shaft to the steeple
To the courthouse and back again
Why don't you don't I join the protest
I'm still asleep, you're not impressed
And we'd be better off uninvolved
Oh come on, come on tell me something
Sell me something or I'm jumping
And I cannot live that way for long
And you know this requires discussion
Or preferably, a concussion
Why can't we talk about something good?
So, I'm feeling better about Jenny
I still miss her, and what doesn't help is that I'm staying at Mom's on Friday to watch Zoe (who is now alone). She won't be there and that sucks. I think Cristina will be staying with me (because I'm scared of my mom's house at night when I'm alone [for some reason]).
I washed all my clothes and now feel extraordinarily clean and good about everything. I also bought a new Rugby shirt and I'm going to start up a Rugby Union with a few friends. I'll need a total of 15 to at least play, but it'll be fine.
Everything's boring... There's not much to report.
That is all.
My Late Puppy
Jenny died 02 April 2008 at 6:00PM.
She was 12 years old.
My mother asked me to come to a vet appointment with her. She needed to bring both dogs although the appointment was only for Jenny because she doesn't like to leave Zoe at home.
I agreed and watched Zoe in the car while she went in. Jenny hasn't been eating lately. Mom came out half an hour later and tells me Jenny has a tumor. After and ultrasound, they found it on her spleen.
She decided to have her euthanised.
She looked into my eyes until the end. I was the last thing she saw. I saw it in her eyes that she had left. No thanks to the vet, who didn't inform me when she had done it. I saw it in her eyes.
She was fine earlier in the day.
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