All The Flair Of A Filing Cabinet by Jacob Karnas

Please visit my satire column ALL THE FLAIR OF A FILING CABINET... here.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Auto Reverse

I haven't been on here forever.

Sorry.

It's not really as though anyone reads my crap anyways.

But, oh well.

A ton has happened.

I got fired from Borders. lol

So, I got this new fancy job at the Hilton as a night Auditor. I get to do fancy important stuff like accounting and tallying and guest services.

But I'll be getting paid an assload, so that's what matters.

I guess, really, I've taken a real fall. Working at the Hilton is kind of like, for me, Royal living at the Lindbergh Palace then working there as an elevator operator. I never lived at the Hilton, but I lived in the Waldorf, like, five doors down from them.

I cleaned my closet out... mostly. It's really pretty now. I feel clean.
I cleaned my whole room, actually. With a tenacity beyond all reason. I was having an "OCD" fit and had to clean something. I almost cleaned Nate's room, but I don't want disease.

Alex and I have been hanging out. That feels nice. With the exception of this week, I've been over there every Wednesday night. I guess it makes me feel better about my situation being with her. She makes me feel good about myself. It's hard for people to do that because I'm really hardly ever happy.

I need $100...

...to pay for this internet connection.

I got a fat "severance" cheque. Really, it was my vacation pay that I didn't know I had and, apparently, didn't use. That was nice.

I need to sell my bass and accessories for said bass. I might just keep it, but who knows?

Nikki's laptop broke. I think the hard drive is trying to eat itself. I need to give it back, but she never answers her phone.

What else...?

I finally saw American Psycho. Great film.

I found an old tattoo design from like two years ago when I was cleaning the closet. It's all waterlogged and crumply, but it's awesome. lol

It's the helm and such for my family's coat of arms. I was revamping it because it's kind of out-of-date and 18th century Eastern European-looking. Plus, I want it personalised if I'm going to have it embedded into my skin.

So... that's about all.

Oh! I saw Cloverfield. I don't know if I posted that before.

Fuckin', like, the greatest, you know, story... lol

I liked it for what it was. A new-age monster flick.

I can't believe I just said "flick". Stupid Clerks.

Anyways...

That's all.

- JWK

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